review by: Roberto Martinelli

This tour was supposed to also include Soilent Green, but due to the injuries the band sustained because of the bus accident that also sidelined them on the Morbid Angel/ Deicide/ Zyklon/ Exhumed tour in December, the band had to cancel again. It was kind of fitting, as Soilent Green would have been rather out of place on this bill.

God Forbid played very well. It was good to properly see them after I missed all but five minutes of their performance when they opened up for Cradle of Filth/ Nile in Chicago last year. God Forbid is sort of in-bewteen death metal and hardcore, with music that is semi-technical. Most impressive this night were the vocals, which carried a lot of power. The band was super tight and finished with a Sepultura song from Chaos A.D.

I'm a GWAR virgin. So was Maelstrom contributor Liam, who came along. So I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. I knew to expect a lot of goop, "blood" and "cum" flying my way, so I wore a ratty shirt.

It was taking GWAR an interminable amount of time to get on stage. I guess that's the price you pay when you've got so much whoopla as part of your show. The audience was getting so anxious that even the appearance of the GWAR technical crew - decked out in loud yellow raincoats and looking like they were going to Red Lobster's all-you-can-eat bonanza - drew applause. This was getting way ridiculous.

The end result was pretty worth it. I was expecting costumes, but not to the extent of the ones GWAR wore. They were astounding: huge, intricate, ridiculous. The best one was the second guitarist's, who had a mask that looked like a giant bear trap with horns. The bass player was dressed like some sort of evil centurion. To give you an idea of how grandiose these costumes are, the band members are fully eight feet tall (at least) and three feet wide with these things on. It's amazing that they can play. Well, I guess that's what playing simple, uninteresting music can afford you.

Musically, GWAR was a total bore. All the songs sounded exactly the same, except for one that had a relatively pretty guitar intro. But this is truly not the point with GWAR. Rather, you go to the show to be entertained by cartoon-style violence with latex costumes, and gratuitous shooting red and green liquids. Liam and I were luckily just out of range.

GWAR "kills" people on stage. The deserving victims this time around were: a skinhead, Mike Tyson, President Bush, Osama Bin Laden, and some whore. Every slaying was pre-empted by some dialogue between GWAR's frontman, Oderus Urungus, and the victim. In Mike Tyson's case, the GWAR slaves (who ran around in loincloths, doing silliness) tried to fight the boxer, who was represented by yet another massive and wondrous costume. Like all the outfits in the show, the victims costumes were "interactive," meaning they cam apart and had pumps that shot liquid. After Tyson dispatched the GWAR slaves, Urungus took out his sword and cut the boxer's hands off, which of course spouted blood in time to the song's beat. All dismemberments in GWAR's show cause blood to spurt. Then Urungus brandished a huge "axe," which he used to cut off the whole chest of the Tyson costume, which fell off to reveal latex guts and a rib cage.

All the other victims were dispatched in similar gruesome fashions: Osama Bin Laden, portrayed as a turkey, was beaten to death after being hung on a stick (the "Osama Piñata"); the skinhead's head came off; Bush "donated" his blood; and Bloody Mary was ripped to shreds while Urungus drank the green juice that shot out of her vagina. Also, at one point this huge, monstrous cannon was rolled out on stage and Urungus shot the audience with a powerful jet of "blood" for two minutes. Liam's favorite part was when the band's lead guitar, Flatimus, took center stage to do a solo and was then congratulated by Urungus.

It was stupid fun. However, it started to get a little repetitive. This, coupled with the total non-interest of the music makes GWAR a band to check out once, but only once.