San Francisco's black metal supporters are in the grips of The One fever. Yeah, the band's name is just "The One." One guess as to how many people are in the group.

Actual quotes overheard at Aquarius Records, in San Francisco’s Mission District:

- "Dude, did you get that one CD? You know, that ONE?"

- "The One may be even more retarded than Benighted Leams. It’s AWESOME."

- "I’ll have a The One, please."

We just uttered the R-word, retarded, which used in conjunction with black metal, nearly always means utter godliness. And such is the case with Guardians Inhuman, The One’s first CD album. If you could stumble at light speed through thick black metal fog and haze, all the while being hounded by demonic, flying dog creatures on amphetamines as they play little drum kits strapped to their backs, you’re starting to get an idea.

"Thou Art None," much like the title track, opens with walls of black metal guitar underpinning a franticly picked bass. More slabs of sound converge like that cliched scene in which the spiked walls are bearing down upon the dusty hero. Then stuff slows down to an awkward beat and the dogs start hounding again.

Sped up drums, songs that just stop, fuck ups galore, an album ending ambient track (appropriately entitled "Ambiance") that gives Burzum’s "Tomhet" a run for its money, and fascinating, engrossing mountains of weirdness that only black metal can deliver. Run, don’t walk and get this album. Then, read our interview with The One in this issue. (Kult/10)